DK ' 2000

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DK - 6.8.00
"I enjoyed your story Mr. Boudreau.  Very creative and humorous."

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- Read My Story -

Written by: E. Daniel Boudreau
Last Updated:
Word Count:

There was once a young man-- no. That's not right. Ahem: Once, there was
a young man - that's much better-who wanted more than anything to be a
famous writer. This young man was unfortunately not quite young enough
to have any crummy little story he may write heralded as the work of a
prodigy, nor was he old enough to really know how to write a decent
story. This poor young man fell somewhere in between. If he was ever to
come up with a story worthy of the masses, he would have to do it
relying on his razor-sharp wit, his God-given abilities, and his uncanny
sense of how to be putting words together to make good-sounding
sentences. And so there he sat, cradled by his less-than-comfortable
armless swivel-chair, as he struggled to harness the great wealth of
ideas that swirled around in his giant-sized brain. Finally, he raised
one frail, bony, girly arm and slowly extended an equally (if not more)
frail, bony and girly index finger, and began to type. A smile crossed
his lips as he proceeded to type the only two words that could
accurately capture the mood of his story to that point:
"Chapter One" 
…and that was it. Well, I added the quotation marks, but 
the underlining
was all his idea. Pure genius. Grab the reader's attention and never let
go. This boy knew what he was doing, and he knew full well that once he
really got rolling, it would only be a matter of time before the
publishing companies would come knocking. The fame, the fortune, the
women, the little newsletters that would come in the mail advertising
2-for-1 pizza at the local fast food place. He wanted it all.  "Ok," he
thought to himself, "gotta keep writing…". And with that, he raised
first his frail, bony arm and then his other, much larger,
tennis-playing arm, and proceeded to keep on typing. The words flew like
Alpha-bits in a tornado. Words soon became sentences. Sentences grew
into run-on sentences, that eventually received proper editing and were
reduced to a more reasonable length. But the paragraphs- oooh baby. What
paragraphs they were. Like nothing the world has seen since that
unpredictable twist at the end of the Bible. It was truly a thing of
beauty. I mean wow. Seriously. Wow.
Anyways, as he was wrapping up his tale of intrigue and romance and
espionage and furry little talking animals something caught his
attention. Something that would forever lock this genius and all of the
magic he possessed from the world that needed him. This story, the very
same story that had risen from the glowing embers of his brilliant mind,
had been written entirely in a silly font called "Caslon Opnface BT",
that was very difficult to read (the letters got all squished). Needless
to say, the young man simply shut off his computer and refused to speak
to anyone for 6 months. Of course, this could have all been avoided had
he actually known how to change fonts in his word processor, but he was
not very good with computers. Genuises seldom are. 


(aka. THE END)

Copyright © DK, 2000.  All rights reserved.

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